There’s a decided difference between an lovably dodgy pub and a obviously awful pub. We’ve all noticed a few shockers around Melbourne.
These are not classy bars in Melbourne. What’s the absolute worst of the bars in Melbourne you’ve been to?
Where is the worst pub in Melbourne?
{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }
The Espy.
Watered-down and over-priced beers, rude staff, and a higher ratio of drunken wankers than any other pub I’ve been to. I’ve missed plenty of gigs by my favourite band purely on the fact that they’re playing The Espy – I’ve had too many nights ruined at that place.
A few years ago my partner’s then colleagues had a thing for ending up at the Exford Hotel in Lt Bourke St (cnr Russell?) at the end of a long evening. Woeful surrounds, and generally the last port of call for the desperate and permanently inebriated.
They did used to have a video jukebox that seemed to be frozen in about 1993 and contained all of New Kids on the Block’s greatest hits. Fun times.
I have heard that it has had quite a bit of money spent on it in the last few years though. I still won’t set foot in the place.
+1 to Espy. that place is full of pretentious idiots who really need to get over themselves. however, the Tankerville cnr Johnson/Nicholson is hands down the dodgiest/most dangerous place i’ve ever had the misfortune of drinking in.
It would have to be “The Bull and Bear Tavern” on Flinders Lane…
For the FULL Fawlty Towers experience one can not go past it for several reasons. Run by Basil Fawlty himself after moving from the English hotel market to the Melbourne Pub market, The Bull and Bear Tavern ensures entertain patrons for all the wrong reasons. Starting with the interior which has not changed since the mid 70′s, the horrid carpets and fake wooden interior upstairs ensure that one feels…well…nothing while “relaxing”. If the bar is out of your drink of choice…YOU are at fault for ordering the drink rather than the bar…making it interesting to get a drink just before the place is restocked. Worst of all however is the toilets, this horrible experience ensures people prefering to hold on rather than using them.
The sad thing is that its not the people that go there that make it such an ordinary experience, its everything around them that defines the venue…which in this case makes “The Bull and Bear Tavern” a serious contender for the crown of “Worst Bar in Melbourne”.
I agree with all the above. And would like to add the Riversdale in Hawthorn as being the most lacking in atmosphere. The pokies are all pervasive and the owners spend all their time counting money, and doing calculations in the bar area. The service is non existant, and the staff are all horse whipped, and let go. From the moment you walk in you have the sense the owners are going to fleece you, and leave you with nothing. Reeks of greed and avarice.
Too many to choose from, but here goes from my memories of living in Melb in 80′s and 90′s.Some may have improved or no longer trade.: Ascot Vale Hotel(threatening, even on Sunday arvo!Felt like you’d trespassed on some extended crime family get-together), Carlton Club Hotel (Fitzroy), Leinster Arms (Coll),Exford Hotel, Savoy Tavern (shit hole near Flinder St Station), Waterside(say no more), Colissuem(West Heidelberg(Jesus!!!). Prince of Wales in Ascot Vale was dreadful. Union Hotel, Ascot Vale also not for the meek. These are all memorable, not so much for bad service, but for sheer ‘dodginess’.
I’ve heard some pretty rotten things about the pub in Newport. Apparently it’s like an old western pub (brawls and whores!)
The Duke of Windsor in (i think) Flemington. Had to step over drunk girls in the bathroom who were vomiting in the sinks to make it to the cubicles only to find one unoccupied toilet…..the rest of which were also being vomited in. I am NOT exaggerating! The ATM is ALWAYS out of order. I guess that explains why everyone is so wasted (not in a good way)….because everyone buys 4 drinks at a time to get over the $20 eftpos minimum at the bar!
Would have to say the Art House on cnr Qnsbry & Elzbth St, recently closed down which is awesome! Had the pleasure of walking by the pub as some death metal junkie decided to launch a bucket of water from the upstairs window… Also very much enjoyed having some punk remove his knee high spiked platforms and vomit in it on a tram…
Worst pub for just how a Bar should NOT be run is the Roaring 20′s bar on Buckley St in Essendon. These people have no idea. Sure the fit out is all art deco and chandeliers but there is NOT 1 BEER ON TAP! Everything is in bottles and there are only about 7 beers stocked! No Coopers Pale ale. The place is always empty and there’s always sport playing on the tvs. It takes 10 minutes to get a beer when the place is empty and they actually play the radio, not music, but talkback with call ins and traffic updates. The last thing i want to hear when i’m relaxing with a beer on a friday afternoon is the traffic update.
The Prince of Wales… Not the music venue in St Kilda, but the pokies venue in Richmond. It’s a pretty soulless place. It probably was a really great pub at one stage.
Tankerville. Filled with all kinds of desperate, suspicious & desceitful scum. Also has pokies.
Cricketers Arms Hotel Richmond has to be one of the dirtiest pubs around. It is always packed after the football, only because it is the closest pub to the G, but it really is disgusting., The toilets stink and I don’t think they have seen a toilet brush ever. I would not drink from the glasses because this place is so filthy!